For more than 20 years I have been studying (and teaching) the art of negotiation in various countries around the world and I have learned some very common tricks.
Every time I see them I am surprised that there are still those who use them, and, even worse, that there are still those who fall for them:
After a long and painful negotiation, you reach an agreement. Then the other says: "Well, I'm going to present our agreement to my boss; I think I can convince him. You had already made all possible concessions and, of course, now the boss will ask for more. (Antidote: "I will also present it to my boss").
Among the classic tactics of warfare is to position oneself and attack when the adversary has the sun in front of his eyes. In negotiations, it is used to approach and put the face too close to the other (which breaks his minimum physical distance of comfort), or move the chair too close, make him sit on a much smaller chair, smoke (if the other does not smoke) or ask him not to smoke (if he does smoke) ... They intend to destabilize him with non-verbal language.
You make a proposal and the other person remains silent for a long time. Many people feel totally bewildered or distressed, and to break the silence they say or propose anything . This trick does not work in Eastern countries, where silence is a form of communication and can signal precisely that the two parties feel good about each other, that they can and do accept moments of silence and reflection.
"I have worked hard on this proposal. It has taken me a long time. I have convinced my boss to approve it. I got two technicians to review it and put the best conditions for it". They want to force you to reciprocate, as when they tell you: "I just need to close this deal to win a prize. Please be kind! My future is in your hands. If I don't get this deal, I'll be fired". The other person is hoping to move you, or that you will thank them for all their care, a trick of the emotional range similar to the one below.
The other indicates that he will make a very special concession, because of the appreciation he has for such a special person, or because he is a favorite customer. You are being led to believe that the matter is between friends, and to make sacrifices for the friendship.
When the tension has been loosened because the agreement is practically sealed, when you are already happy and comfortable, the other person indicates, as a minor thing, a last concession that, as a matter of course, you will accept without problems. Many people are psychologically inclined to accept anything at that point. Sometimes this trick takes the form of additional requirements that were not in the initial agreement.
Two people come to negotiate, one of whom makes exaggerated demands, acts in an aggressive and unpleasant, arrogant and imposing manner. The other negotiator from the same team then takes the initiative, but acts in a more reasonable and approachable manner, offering interpersonal warmth. Many become unsettled by successive rounds of negotiation, first with the bad guy, then with the good guy, and end up conceding to the good guy a large part of what the bad guy demanded.
The generic antidote to all of them is to realize what is going on and not take it too seriously. Those who use these tricks feel superior to others every time it works for them, and it becomes a habit in their daily personal and professional lives.
They do not realize that they develop a reputation for deception and naiveté. These are not really dirty tricks, but rather the liveliness of those who go through life in short stretches, struggling to get their way by misunderstood cunning.
